I will likely not be remembered for anything other than the sins I’ve committed. Maybe some people that will say. “She was such an asshole” or “she was a terrible mother and horrible person.” And perhaps a few will say something nice. What matters most is truth telling, and this is why I am in knee deep with genealogy.
But here will be the start of sharing my own story and research material about myself and the family I grew up with. Some of it will be facts based on my own research combined with my hypothesis to fill in the blanks, therefore giving you a sense of “what could have happened” during that time period.
After spending a few years digging into genealogy, finding stories and researching obsessively I have been seeing patterns of dysfunction among my own family. I don’t think this is unique and I’m certain many other families also have experienced similar realities. I have learned a lot from genealogy. Besides names, dates, places and important documents I have learned more about myself and my ancestors that I never knew. When the paper trail shows us one set of facts and they don’t always present the whole truth we begin questioning the time, history, women’s rights, social norms among other situations during that time period. It is clear from analyzing documents and events of my own family they left behind evidence that shows imperfection that may have started over a hundred years ago.
Our life is full of events, choices and consequences. If we are given the ability to see and properly make decisions our life becomes much more aligned, rich and meaningful, if not we repeat unnecessary patterns that lead to pain and suffering upon ourselves and on others. Sometimes in life we blindly make choices, and sometimes we make choices based on total and complete awareness.
My early teenage years and well into my young adult years were full of unnecessary suffering. I did not know or have the compacity to learn and recognize that my decisions always had consequences. I did not have good role models to share their wisdom of right and wrong. No one in my life taught me about cause and effect. There is no blame here, they did not know these things either. You simply cannot teach what you don’t know.
My attempt here is to combine genealogy research, stories of growing up and thoughts about my discoveries.
The photo below was taken on North Street, Springhill, Nova Scotia. Starting on the right the lady wearing the black dress is my biological mother Sarah Alice Matheson, myself at about 3 or 4yrs old, Kathleen Langille ( Matheson ) then Allison Langille.